


Searching for Myself

by EmptyHead



Series: Extracurricular Activities [2]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmptyHead/pseuds/EmptyHead
Summary: Learning magic wasn't on Michelle Jones' bucket list, but she's discovered that life can twist in unexpected directions. Faced with a trip to the other side of the world and her growing relationship with Peter Parker, Michelle tries to figure out where this new aspect of her life is taking her.Part 2 in my series where Michelle Jones stumbles into becoming a trainee in the Mystic Arts. Set between Homecoming and Infinity War.





	Searching for Myself

 

Michelle Jones wakes with a gasp.

Leaning over to check the time, the clock reads 3:00 AM. “Shit,” the girl mutters to herself. She's not going to get back to sleep tonight. Grumbling, Michelle climbs out of bed and heads over to the bathroom to wash her face and get a good look at herself. It's not a very flattering picture. Her hair is total mess, but it's the lingering look of horror in her eyes that draw her attention.

_Peter Parker almost died on my bedroom floor._

It's not a new nightmare. Three times now since the night she first created the portal she's had dreams about what could have happened if she had failed. The outcome isn't something she wants to think about. Still, things have been looking up. She managed to patch up her friendship with Peter with a talk that left her feeling better than she has in weeks and also told Ned the next day (she'll probably tell May at some point, but she'll avoid it for now). Slowly, she's starting to move past this phase where she was freaked out by her accidental success at actually casting a magic spell.

Magic. God, this is not where Michelle ever thought her life would take her. It's absurd, but her brief training in the Mystic Arts saved Peter's life so she owes it enough to give it a chance and see where this ride goes. The whole learning process was pretty fun so she doesn't regret her promise to Peter to keep going with the training, but Michelle can't see what the end goal to it all is. The sorcerers learn this stuff to defend reality from extra-dimensional threats and that's a Big Scary Thing that she would rather just not be involved in.

_I don't want to save the world._

Sighing, Michelle turns off the sink and dries off her face before heading over to the kitchen to make some tea. Her parents are out of town again right now so she's not worried about waking them up. Waiting for the water to boil, she mentally goes over her plans for the day.  She needs to finish packing in preparation for her trip. She leaves for Kamar-Taj later this morning.

After Michelle had finally gone back to the Sanctum, Strange approached her about an issue of sorts. The other sorcerers at Kamar-Taj apparently were not big fans of the fact that he had been independently training someone.  Tradition required that all new recruits be referred to their home.  As a compromise, Strange worked out an arrangement where she would go for the rest of her summer vacation. About 3 weeks.

As crazy as it is, Michelle didn't really object to the idea.  Considering how much she had read about the place, she had been wanting to go there eventually and see it. She had to jump through some hoops to get the logistics to work, but it wasn't too bad. The hardest part was finding a way to keep her parents from asking questions. It was a good thing then that Tony Stark still owed her a favor. Michelle grinned to herself while sipping her tea. That was a fun phone call.

_(Tony Stark groans dramatically, "Why can't you just ask for money like a normal person?"_

_"You could pay my college tuition as well if you feel so inclined."_

_Another groan, "What did I do in this life to deserve being hassled by teenagers?"_

_"Do you want a list?")_

She has no idea what Stark said to her parents to cover for her, but they seemed to have the understanding that she wasn't going to be around much. The fact that she's lying to her parents in such a big way will probably come back to haunt her at some point, even if it's just via guilt, but it simplifies things enough for now to be worth it. If needed, Ned and Peter know her contact info.  Being alone so far from home probably should bother her, but she’s used to taking care of herself for a large chunk of her life.

When she finishes her tea, she decides to get back to packing. She only has a few hours. Thankfully, it's not as if she has to go through airport security. While she's never been through it, there's literally just a door in the Sanctum that takes you to the other side of the planet in an instant. She is to meet Strange there and he'll handle the needed introductions to get her settled in.

 

 

 

 

Kamar-Taj is simultaneously everything she expected and nothing like what she expected. It's extremely old fashioned and essentially looks like she's wandering around in a temple from a thousand years ago, but it's extremely well kept. Once arriving, she's introduced to a very serious looking man named Wong. Michelle learns that he's some kind of librarian here. It doesn't sound like much, but appears to command a level of respect. A lot of people defer to him.

The place has a lot of charm. There's a large outdoor training area where there's about 10 people participating in some kind of exercise. Stopping to listen for a little bit, she finds that they're being taught how to create a portal just like she was a while back. There's a number of people simply milling around. At her best guess, there's maybe 20 or so total in Kamar-Taj.

Surprisingly, there are a lot of modern and quality of life touches. The rooms are well heated despite the fact that she can't quite tell where it's coming from, there's a strong internet connection for everyone to use, and her small dorm room has the most comfortable bed she's ever laid on. Instead of regular clothes, everyone is provided a uniform of sorts that's color coded based on their level of experience and skill. In her case, she finds that she's been given a few white robes that look a little similar to something that monastery monks might wear.

_Well, when in Rome..._

What really grabs her attention though is the library. Michelle has heard of people having religious experiences before, but she never imagined it happening to her until now. In this ancient building are walls entirely coated in shelves full of books older than she can comprehend. It's the most amazing thing she's ever seen. There must be at least a thousand volumes here. All about magic. It makes her feel a little lightheaded to think a place like this existed in the world and no one knew.

 

_MJ: this place is amazing. I want to live in the library for the rest of my life._

_Ned: please tell me you have pictures_

_MJ: I'm not sure I'm allowed to_

_Peter: but you did it anyway right?_

_MJ: of course_

_MJ uploaded video - tour.mp4_

 

 

Her first morning, Michelle wakes up to the sound of Wong knocking on her door. She's oversleeping, but she can't find it within her to care considering she just skipped forward 12 hours due the gigantic time zone difference. She gets dressed in the provided white robes and meets him outside.

“Stephen has explained to me your current status in training. I thought it would be best that I get you started on what's next,” Wong says as they walk down the hall. They head back into the library and he begins taking a few random books off the shelves. He mumbles out some names of the books, but they're unmarked. Michelle doesn't have the slightest idea how he tells them apart.

When she gets started reviewing the newest material, it's a sudden jump in difficulty. At this point, new spells will require specific glyphs and symbols to be drawn in order for them to work. The concepts of the various shortcuts to accomplish this are quite interesting.

After a period of time, Wong appears again at her table and sits down across from her. He begins his own reading. "When Stephen mentioned that he was taking someone under his wing, I had not expected it to be someone who had never been to Kamar-Taj," Wong says after a moment of silence. "I am actually the one who insisted he convince you to come here. The way you were taught breaks many of our traditions, but then again Stephen has been doing that a lot recently."

Michelle isn't sure what kind of response he's looking for. "I can't stay here forever. I have to go to school. I have a life back home that I need to get back to," she says.

"I understand," Wong agrees. "We've never had anyone as young as you before. Your existence has brought forth many questions that we have not found answers to." Michelle simply stares back at him blankly, uncomprehending of what he's trying to say so Wong continues, "We are taught that attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual. You live in a very material world and yet you still are able to wield the Mystic Arts. This combined with Stephen's rather flexible interpretation of traditions and rules have given me much to think about."

It's a fair statement and any reply she could come up with would be very difficult to put in to words. The teachings about Material versus Spiritual stem from the idea of belief. Wielding the Mystic Arts requires a certain element of faith in things that go against common sense. Virtually everything about it defies the laws of physics or reality. Michelle herself wasn't really able to believe much of what she was reading until she accidentally tapped into the Mystic Arts the first time during an incredibly vivid daydream.

Her theory is simple: The reason that Kamar-Taj attracts only the most broken and destitute people is because they are the only ones who would believe in it due to the lack of anything else to turn to.

"I think I understand what you're saying, but I don't know how to answer it," Michelle replies while shrugging.

Wong nods, "I assumed as much. What brought you here? Why learn all this?" He gestures around to the endless shelves full of books.

"I don't know," she answers automatically. "I think," she tries to elaborate, "I think I'm here to try and figure out why I came here."

_I don't want to save the world._

Wong leans back in his chair, a little surprised. "You do not know?" He hums thoughtfully for a moment, "Stephen seems to think you're going to surprise us all someday. I'm curious to see where you go."

She glances up to Wong, but remains silent as she continues her research into glyph creation techniques for spells. They spend the next few hours in the library together simply reading.

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Michelle arrives back into the library to continue her studies. Wong is already there and wide awake. She wonders if he even left. The guy seems to be surviving on downing cups of tea, but she doesn't see where he's getting it from. Passing by him, she goes to take a seat, but notices that his cup is now empty. Wong puts his hand on it and the cup starts refilling of tea out of nothing.

_What..._

Stopping, she bends down and looks closely at the cup. She knows she's being rude to Wong, but did she really just see what she thought she saw? “Do that again,” she demands of him. Wong apparently decides to humor her, downs the cup, and refills it again out of nothing.

Michelle looks over to Wong with wide eyes, “You can make tea,” she whispers in awe.

Wong laughs at her. “Stephen told you about looking into the future and you took that in relative stride from what I understand, but the ability to conjure tea is what surprises you?”

Screw time travel. Generating tea on demand is the most important discovery in history. Michelle can't begin to imagine how much time and hassle this would save in her every day life. This is the kind of thing that she would seriously consider killing somebody for. Every moment spent trying to learn this would be worth it.

Michelle drops to her knees and begs, “Please. Teach me."

 

 

 

 

The group training regiment contains a surprising amount of martial arts training and sparring. It weirds her out a little, but she supposes it may have roots in stories of old eastern monastery monks being martial arts masters. Michelle isn't exactly an expert in Asian history, but she was under the impression those stories were largely exaggerated. Maybe that's not the case (she makes a note to add it to the Decathlon material to learn). Wong tells her that the sparring has multiple purposes. It's to teach people confidence, self-defense, and helps their members to meet each other. After a few sessions, she can't say they're wrong. Throwing each other to the ground tends to be a good bonding experience.

The kinds of people that she meets all have fascinating and heartbreaking stories. The two she spends the most time with are both women. The first is a woman from Germany who was just released from a long jail sentence for murder. She deeply regrets her actions and found Kamar-Taj when searching for redemption. The other is a Korean woman who fled a very influential abusive husband. With nowhere left to turn, she had found her way here.

No one here is searching for power. They're just trying to put their lives back together and learning magic is simply a side effect of healing their spirit. Very few seem to have any intention of staying very long and most leave after attaining some kind of inner peace. Michelle doesn't need inner peace though. She has a relatively normal life and hasn't suffered any turmoil. It brings back thoughts about how she fits in to all this - The only member who doesn't have a good reason to be here other than for the fun of it.

 

_MJ uploads photo bestbuds.png_

_MJ: so it turns out the kindest woman in the world is a murderer. who knew._

_Peter: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_

 

 

 

 

Something Michelle quickly learns is that conjuring tea is a little tricky. There is no spell that actually just makes tea. You have to conjure water and then transform the water into the desired form. As such it is divided into two parts, conjuration and transmutation. Surprisingly, transmutation is the easier thing to learn so it's where she starts. Wong provides her with the reading material to get her going.

While much of someone's learning at Kamar-Taj is self-directed, there is a relatively common criteria that the masters push everyone towards as a baseline. Since Michelle has just recently shown up and is seen as a little bit of an anomaly, a lot of others do special meetings or training with her to better understand her skill level. This hectic schedule prevents her from having as much free time as she wants to work on her tea project.

 

 

 

 

About two weeks in, Strange drops by. Apparently he's heard from Wong about her progression in her studies and decided he wants to teach her something directly. He brings her out to the middle of the sparring area before beginning.

"I am going to teach you about how to conjure an eldritch whip," Strange tells her.

Michelle isn't sure what that is, but she's not certain that she's comfortable with the idea of making a weapon. "If this is some kind of way to train me into fighting your battles, then I'm not interested."

Strange rolls his eyes, "Relax. You'll find that this is actually a good exercise to practice. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to."

The theory behind it is surprisingly simple. There's no actual spell required, but instead you just channel raw power to take form. Press both hands together and draw as much power as you can in there. Pull your hands apart to extend a rope, then lash out with one hand while letting go with the other. It's straightforward enough that Michelle wonders why they don't start by teaching this, but after a few tries she discovers that it's really tiring to do. Manifesting enough energy in the physical realm to take form is exhausting. Still after a few more tries, Michelle can feel it building between her hands. Taking the next step, she begins to pull her hands apart, but it's hard. It feels like her hands are being tied together by powerful rubber bands and it takes a lot of effort to stretch them. Slowly, she can start to see in the gap between her hands.

Eyes wide, Michelle stares at the many bands of orange light that stretch from one hand to the other. Some going from her palm, some from her fingers. _Okay, this is pretty cool_ , Michelle thinks. Once pulled apart enough, she closes her right hand and can feel all the bands twist together into one large string. She lets go with the left and swings out her right arm towards a nearby stone wall. With a loud crack, a whip forms and strikes the barrier. Entire chunks of the wall the size of her fist break off and fall to the floor. The girl gapes at the devastation that she never could have imagined she could do. Suddenly, a heavy wave of exhaustion settles in over her and she has to sit down as the energy dissipates from her hand.

_Holy shit. Did I do that?_

"Good, good. Like I said, it's surprisingly simple, but you need to have the general idea of how the Mystic Arts works before you can pull it off," Strange congratulates her.

Michelle wants to tell him off and ask him what in the world she would ever use that for, but every time she opens her mouth all she can see is a flash of Peter Parker dying on her bedroom floor. Unable to say anything, she excuses herself to crash on her bed which thankfully Strange seems to understand.

_But I don't want to save the world._

 

 

 

 

Returning home is a bittersweet affair. She's come to really like this place. Her new friends drop by to see her off, but Wong stops her before she goes.

“Before you leave, I would like to announce that we have assigned you the rank of Apprentice.” Wong then bestows her with much nicer crimson colored robes than the white ones she was wearing the past few weeks.

In truth, Michelle actually has no idea what the ranks even mean or stand for.  She doesn’t plan on living in Kamar-Taj for any extended period of time aside for visits to train and research so she never bothered to learn.  When Wong hands her the new robes however, she’s struck with an odd feeling and she eventually places it - _Acknowledgement_.  

This feels different than when she was named captain of the Decathlon team.  Her nomination there was a rather sudden thing due to extreme circumstances.  Here, she’s in a place surrounded by people she’s only known for a few weeks and they’re recognizing her.  Telling her that she has a place here. That maybe she isn’t just wasting her time. That maybe she’s doing the right thing.

“Thank you,” Michelle says.  She means it.

 

 

 

 

The massive time difference meant it was in the middle of the night when Michelle took the path back to the New York Sanctum. Tired and exhausted, she was about to create a portal somewhere close to home when she was interrupted by a voice nearby the front entrance. It seems Strange is still awake.

“Before you leave, it seems your friend has come to see you,” he calls out.

Michelle checks the time and notices it's nearly 2:00 AM. A little annoyed, she wonders if Peter and Ned came to take her home. It's a very nice gesture, but she kind of just wants to fall over in bed. Getting to the door and stepping outside however, she sees that it's only Peter. Well, maybe if it's just him...

Peter shyly waves from the bottom of the steps. “Hi MJ.” He has his backpack on so he probably swung out here in his suit and then changed.

Maybe she can afford to take the long way home tonight. Michelle raises an eyebrow, “You realize how late it is right?” Not that she'd ever turn him away.

He shrugs and replies, “Yeah, well it's not every day I get to see a friend home from the other side of the world. It's been quiet without you around.”

Stepping down to the street, the two of them began walking towards the nearest subway station in comfortable silence. Out of the corner of her eye Michelle could see Peter stressing out over something and was about to press him about it when she felt him grab her hand. She intertwines her fingers with his.

“So, did you have a good time over there?  It looked like you met a bunch of people,” Peter strikes up conversation.

Michelle nods.  Even if she still doesn’t fully understand her own desire to keep going in her training, she’s very happy she went.  “Yeah. I formally joined the ranks of a cult and made friends with a bunch of criminals and murderers,” she replies dryly.  It’s an exaggeration, but it’s technically true in a sense. The shock on Peter’s face is too comical to pass up, but she decides to put him out of his misery, “Relax.  I’m just messing with you. I learned a lot.”

After he stops sputtering from the earlier statement, Peter asks, “Like what?”

“I'm working my way up to conjuring tea,” Michelle says while grinning at Peter, “Right now I'm learning how to turn things into butterflies”.

“Wait, you can just make tea?  Can you make food too?”

Michelle lets her grin fade into a small smile, “Well, not yet.  But eventually. And yes to both.”

Peter seems to drift off into his thoughts, “Wow.  You could just poof a pizza into existence whenever you want.”

“I’m pretty sure that would kill you even with your crazy metabolism,” she comments.  “Trust me. When I can refill all your drinks instantly and at no charge, you’ll all be bowing to me.”  Wong would be SO disappointed in her if he ever heard her say that. “I learned more than that, but it’s mostly just practice techniques.  There’s one thing I could show you, but it’s a little too flashy to do in public.”

“Flashy,” Peter mutters.  His interest is obviously piqued and probably won’t let it go.  After a moment of consideration, he points his thumb to his backpack and waggles his eyebrows at her.  It’s the dumbest look she’s ever seen on him. “Want to take a shortcut?”

Michelle blinks a few times.  He’s implying that he wants to carry her while swinging around.  It’s at this moment that she thinks that maybe she really did lose her mind when she started on this path in the Mystic Arts.  Just a year ago she could never have imagined doing anything resembling extreme sports, but now she almost looks forward to the idea of swinging through the city.  Thinking back, it probably started ever since she took that first book from Strange and only got stronger when she returned after running away. Michelle simply feels more comfortable in her own skin.  Less uncertain perhaps.

Shrugging, Michelle replies, “Okay”.  She trusts Peter to not let her fall.

Excitedly, Peter veers off course and pulls her into an alley.  There’s a fire escape that’s accessible and he starts to climb it up to the roof of a building.  Shaking her head at his boundless energy, Michelle starts to follow him. “Come on, MJ!” Peter calls out to her.  It’s really not that tall of a building. When she gets up to the top he’s already changed into his suit.

_How does he change so fast?  Does he practice it or something?_

Looking around Michelle asks, “So… how do we do this?  Do you even have any experience with this?”

Peter’s emotions are a little harder to read in the Spider-Man suit, but the moving eye frames do wonders.  “Yep! Not for any extended period of time, but I have to carry people when pulling them out of buildings or whatever.”  He walks over to the girl to pick her up and moves her arms around his neck. “Hold on,” he says.

Michelle is actually a little taller than him, but he picks her up as if it’s nothing.  In her mind she’s always been aware of Peter’s strength, but it’s breathtaking to see it first hand.  In videos she’s seen him pick up cars or stop busses, but it’s hard to put it in perspective. When he holds her now, she thinks she finally understands just how strong Peter might be.

Peter begins running toward the edge and leaps.  Michelle closes her eyes. She can feel herself plummeting to the ground and the wind rushing through her hair.  Moments later, there’s a noise of the webbing shooting out and sticking to something. Making sure to hold tightly, she has a brief memory of being on a swing in a playground from when she was a child.  There’s this moment when you reach the top of the arc where everything is still and nothing is happening. When she feels that moment, Michelle opens her eyes.

She could swear she was flying.

Michelle can’t help it.  She starts to laugh. No wonder why Peter always goes out on his patrols so much.  If he spends his time doing this, she can’t blame him. Eventually, Peter takes her to some kind of abandoned looking warehouse and opens the door.

“I used this place to practice swinging around when I first started,” he says.  Looking up to the roof, Michelle can guess why. There are a ton of layered rafters and walkways that are high up.  Lots of things to play with.

She decides to go ahead and say the obvious to get it out of the way, “So I assume you brought me here because you wanted me to show you the other thing.”  At Peter’s sheepish look, she mutters, “I figured.”

Closing her eyes to concentrate, Michelle begins to create the conjured whip like Strange had shown her.  Channel energy between hands, stretch them apart, and release with one hand. When she opens them, in her right hand is a long orange whip made of pure light and energy.  Even with his mask on, it’s obvious what Peter’s expression must be. The white eyes are expanded so large that it almost looks cartoonish. Peter leans in close to look at it, but he’s awfully close to Michelle now and it starts getting a little weird so she does the first thing the comes to mind.  She takes a step back and smacks him with the whip. Peter is sent flying through the air and skids on the ground 20 feet away.

_Oops._

Immediately though, he gets right back up on his feet and runs over to her.  He takes off his mask and blurts out “Please go out on a date with me, MJ!”

“Okay.”  Wait, what?  Michelle rewinds the tape in her head for a moment to double check what she just agreed to.  Yep, Peter Parker just asked her out on a date. He asked her out on a date as a reaction to getting beaten up by said girl.  On any other day this would raise some interesting questions that she would tease him about, but she’s a little too distracted right now for that.

The thing is that Peter is a Good Person in the way you only read about in stories.  His moral foundation is second to none. Spider-Man does great things, but it’s really Peter Parker that amazes her most.  In his own way he does small things to just make life easier for other people. Sometimes that might be cleaning offensive graffiti off of someone’s store or it might be as simple as the time he helped someone at school get to class when they showed up in crutches and had trouble moving around.  Michelle wonders how other people don’t notice.

She’ll never admit it out loud, but she loves listening to the dumb discussions between Peter and Ned.  They talk about all ranges of things Nerd. Sometimes it’s Star Wars, sometimes Stargate. She once got involved in a long discussion about the Lord of the Rings series and it ended with them watching the entire extended edition trilogy all in a row one weekend.  It was great. When she looks at Peter, she sees a brilliant, dorky boy with a heart of gold. So of course it makes sense that such a person would end up being a superhero.

“Wait, really?” Peter can’t seem to believe it either.

Having a crush on a superhero is complicated.  Some days you’ll be with them and it will feel completely natural, but then others you’ll wonder why they spend time with you at all.  When people talk about someone being out of their league, a superhero is at the top of that list. In many ways they just live in a completely different world.  To Michelle, he’s so far out of her league that all she could do is wait and hope and it seems that maybe she might have had a chance after all.

Michelle puts her poker face to the ultimate test.  She really doesn’t want to turn into a blushing and stuttering mess in front of him.  “Yep. Looks like we’re going out, Parker. Where are we going?”

Realization seems to snap at Peter that yes, this is actually happening, and he starts to panic a little, “I, uh.  Um. I never thought I’d get this far. Give me a minute.”

She chokes out a short laugh.  She really shouldn’t be surprised that Peter didn’t think ahead.  Part of her wants to stick around, but a quick glance at the time shows it’s 3:00 AM now.  With the adrenaline from swinging and conjuring the whip wearing off, she’s starting to feel dead on her feet.

Time to spare them both the awkwardness, “It’s 3:00 AM and we’re going to be returning to school in 31 hours.  I need my beauty sleep. Make some plans and tell me sometime this week.” Peter nods his head so hard that it looks like it’s going to fall off.  They say their farewells and head their own ways back home.

When Michelle usually wonders about the future, there’s a lot of uncertainty.  Tonight however, things seem a little brighter. The thought lulls her to a peaceful sleep.

 

 

 

 

School is strange now. Being able to control forces that defy reality makes science classes give her a little whiplash at times. How is she supposed to talk about conservation of mass when she is simultaneously studying the ability to literally create liquid out of thin air? Michelle supposes that this is just part of the Material versus Spiritual discussion she had with Wong. She can handle both at once, but it requires a big mental shift. Since Ned shares most of her classes with her, she does a lot of her homework the first few days back with him to help keep her mind straight until she gets used to it.

One day that week, they all head home to Ned's place. As they get to the door however, several sirens can be heard in the distance and Peter immediately picks up on it.

“I think I need to go,” Peter looks around hesitantly.

Michelle looks down the street and thinks she sees smoke in the air, “Yeah, go.” Peter puts his backpack back on and runs down the street before turning into an alley. A few moments later, she can see Spider-Man swinging his way down to the action.

Ned opens the door to let her in, “Come on in MJ.” The girl doesn't seem to hear him though. She just keeps staring down the street with a deep frown on her face and her mind swirls with too many emotions to place. “MJ?” he calls out again.

It seems to shake Michelle out of her trance, but she still isn't looking at him. “How do you deal with it?” she asks.

“Huh?” Ned isn't entirely sure what she's talking about.

Glancing around to make sure no one can hear or is listening in, she answers, “He almost died in my apartment. It was frankly just dumb luck that he lived that night.”

Ned's frowning now too. “Let me show you something.” He walks her into his home and they go into his bedroom. She's been here before, but it always blows her away at just how big of nerds Ned and Peter are. Ned's walls are absolutely covered in posters of anything superhero oriented or from his favorite movies, but the most noticeable part is his desk with huge piles of loose computer parts.

Ned goes over to his computer and turns it on. After a few moments to log in, he launches something that starts playing a first-person video of Spider-Man looking at a burning building. Wait a second...

If she maps out where the smoke looked like it was coming from earlier, it would be around the area shown in the video. “Is this live?” Michelle asks.

“Peter doesn't know I do this, but I hooked up a feed from the suit so that I can keep an eye on things just in case. He doesn't get hurt very often, but when he does he likes to downplay it a lot. This way I know and I can try and help him out a little. If he's having a bad day at school because of something that happened the previous night, then maybe I can make the day a little easier by sticking up for him or something.”

To Michelle, it explains so much. Sometimes Ned would be weirdly argumentative, usually with Flash. She could never tell what would bring it on and never pressed it. “And Peter has no idea that you do this?”

Ned nods, “Yeah, so please don't tell him, okay? Every now and then I'm able to help him out a little too. Like last week he was chasing some guy who was fleeing in a car. I was able to keep people from getting hurt in an accident with him by manipulating traffic lights.”

Wow. Michelle had no idea that Ned could do anything remotely like that. The two of them sit and watch the suit feed for a while. There's a few people trapped on the top couple floors of a building that he goes in and rescues. It's a short and sweet thing, but Peter sticks around for a little bit while the firefighters put out the blaze just in case.

“What inspired you to rig all this up? You don't just wake up one day and decide you want to learn how to hack traffic lights.” Michelle needs to know.

Ned surprisingly goes quiet for a moment and has a shy look on his face as he answers, “Peter's a good friend. The best I'll ever have. If this,” Ned points to the feed on the screen, “is what I need to do in order to make sure he sticks around, then that's a price I'm gladly willing to pay.” His mood then switches and his face lights up like the sun, “Plus, imagine the great stories I can tell someday!”

Michelle looks away. It's touching just how much he cares about his friend and she wonders if she even deserves to be involved. Part of her just feels ashamed. Peter's trying to make the world a better place, Ned's looking out for Peter, and she's just trying to learn how to make tea when she could be doing more. Frustrated, she busies herself by getting started on her homework.

 

 

 

 

The problem with dating your best friend is that you're not sure how you're supposed to act. Lunch at school is an absolutely _miserable_ affair full of awkward silences. Through some miracle, Ned seems to pick up on this and is a huge saving grace as he carries conversations all week long to distract Peter and Michelle. She doesn't really get the whole romance thing. Is she supposed to hold his hand? Is she supposed to act soft and mushy? She just started having real friends a year ago so going from that to a sorta-boyfriend isn't something she knows how to handle even though it's exactly what she wants. And of course because she doesn't know how to handle it, she reverts to her old reclusive tendencies and keeps her face in her “Introduction to Sanskrit” book all day rather than paying attention to her friends. It's probably the worst possible reaction and she knows it.

Eventually, Peter decides that he's going to take her out to a movie which, whatever. She doesn't honestly care about seeing a movie, but that's what people their age do right? They go out on dumb dates like that. It's a common stereotype for a reason, so she guesses that maybe that's just what they're supposed to do. She hopes it eventually gets better.

It doesn't.

Everything about their date immediately goes comically wrong. If it wasn't for the look of utter devastation on Peter's face, Michelle probably would have laughed. The entire walk out to the theater is spent in total silence as neither one of them knew what to say and once they actually got there, there was nothing showing that either of them wanted to watch. She makes a note to try and teach Peter better planning and organization skills, but first she needs to see if their night can be salvaged.

“Come on,” Michelle says while tugging on Peter's arm, “let's go for a walk”.

He switches to mass apology mode, “Oh my god, I'm so sorry MJ. I'm screwing this all up.”

“Nope. Don't want to hear it. Let's go.” Michelle guides them away with no real destination.

A couple minutes later, she tries to strike up conversation, “So how do we make this not weird? This whole week has sucked and I know I've been pretty terrible too.”

The relieved sigh from Peter is so strong that she almost believes he was holding in his breath all night, “Oh thank god, it wasn't just me. I, uh, I don't know. We're dating now. Aren't we supposed to be different?”

Michelle crunches her face in thought, “I don't think so. Everything I read just kept saying to be yourself, but...”  She trails off.

“Everything you read? Were you researching how to have a date?” Peter teases.

She slaps his chest. “Of course I did. I didn't want to screw this up either. I'm sure you did too.”

“Yup. Guilty as charged,” Peter brazenly admitted.

They both take a moment to laugh in their own embarrassment.

“May kept saying the same thing about me just needing to be myself, but I don't get it. Aren't I supposed to be making some kind of big romantic gesture or something right now?” Peter asks.

Michelle's face twists in disgust, “Please don't. I'll sub you out for Flash in Decathlon.”

He laughs and quickly backtracks his statement, “Okay! Okay. But like, what are we supposed to be doing here?”

“Geez Parker, the fact that you ever managed to ask out Liz blows me away.”

“But this is so much more of a big deal than any date with Liz could be,” Peter blurts out before realizing what he just said.

_Oh wow._

Trying to suppress her blush at the implications behind that statement, Michelle pours her heart out, “The boy I agreed to go out on a date with is a dorky loser who plays with Lego and obsesses with his friend about Star Wars. I didn't want to go out with someone else. If that's what it means to just be yourself, then I want you to be the idiot that babbles about the most inane things possible every day at lunch. I want you to be the person you were when your helped me sort myself out from my panic over using magic. I want you to be the boy who came to see me come home from across the world in the middle of the night because he missed me. You already are that person. I don't want someone else.”

Peter looks up to the sky and seemingly talks to himself, “Is it really that simple?”

“I sure hope it is or else we're just two idiots talking in circles and I don't know how to be anyone else.”

“Okay,” Peter breathes out. “I can do that.”

He immediately jumps into stories about the nonsense that he and Ned got up to while she was in Kamar-Taj. She returns with a few of her own and before they know it, a couple hours have passed by of them just walking around and talking about anything and everything. They do stop and pick up ice cream though.

 

 

 

 

They drop by Delmar's on the way home and there's no one else there aside from Delmar himself manning the register. Michelle heads to one of the back aisles to grab something for breakfast tomorrow while Peter stops at the front to chat with Delmar for a moment and get a sandwich (it blows Michelle away at just how much he has to eat). While trying to decide what to get, she notices a few things on the walls. A couple newspaper articles about Spider-Man and even a picture of Delmar himself with him. _Seems Peter has quite a fan._ On Peter's way to the counter, she can see him freeze for a moment and frantically look around. He quickly walks over to Michelle and grabs her by the arm.

“Something's wrong. We need to go,” he says urgently.

“What? Is this your danger sense thing?” she whispers back.

He's practically dragging her before she understands what's going on. “Yeah.”

As they get to the door however, two men with masks on enter and block the way out. They both pull out handguns.

_Oh fuck._ Michelle is wide eyed at the sudden turn of events. Quickly backing up, she can feel Peter pushing her behind him to try and shield her. The first man stays by the door to bar it and goes over to start shouting at Delmar for all the money in the register. The second man begins herding the two teenagers away while closing all the blinds to the windows. It's getting close to closing time and there's no one else in the store. Michelle wonders if anyone else even noticed them coming in or if anyone outside is aware.

Unsure of what to do and feeling a familiar growing panic, she lets Peter guide her to the far wall next to a long row of windows. She risks a look outside, but only sees two people on the opposite side of the street. They aren't paying attention. Looking back to Peter, she notices that he's not looking at the gunman. He's looking at the wall decorations that she saw earlier. The Spider-Man picture and newspaper clippings.

_No, no, no, no. Please don't be this stupid, Peter._

As she sees his eyes grow hard with determination, she recalls where this feeling of fear seems familiar from. It's that feeling from when she woke up from her nightmare.

All Michelle can see is Peter's body, dying on her bedroom floor.

_I don't want to save the world._

_But maybe I can save one person._

She can't let him do this alone. He doesn't have his webshooters or the suit. Peter may have super powers and precognitive reflexes, but guns can still kill him if they get lucky. Especially if he's too hesitant to go all out due to fear of revealing himself. Mustering up every last bit of resolve she can, she waits until the man passes by her to close a window. Now standing between her and Peter with his back to her, she looks over to Peter and gives him a grim nod. He doesn't seem to understand and has a terrified look as if he never even contemplated her being involved.

There's no time though. While the man is still right next to her and facing away, she pulls back her leg and jams her foot into the back of his knee as hard as she can to force his legs to bend. Quickly, she then grabs his shoulders and pulls back. The man collapses backwards to the ground with a grunt. On his way down, Peter reaches out and gets hold of the gun with one hand to push it to the side. With the other, he wrenches it from the man's grip. After he hits the ground, Michelle kicks him in the head. Peter hits him too for good measure. It knocks him out cold.

All hell instantly breaks loose.

“You tryin to be some kind of hero?” the man by the counter shouts out. Peter and Michelle drop low to hide behind the shopping aisle and immediately two shots ring out through the deli. She shrieks, but tries to keep herself silent after realizing her mistake. She hadn't expected handguns to be so _loud_. Looking over to Peter, he seems fine and she isn't bleeding to they must have missed. The girl scrambles to the far side of the aisle. Peter now on the closer end to the counter with her at the opposite corner.

“If I even see you once, you're dead, you hear?” The remaining gunman looks back to Delmar. “Now, get me the money. Now.”

_Is he just going to leave the other guy here?_

Peeking out, Michelle can see that he's not looking in her direction. She's at the farthest edge from the counter now. The man's attention is split between Delmar pulling money out and looking over to the corner where Peter was. Trying to think over what she can do here to keep Peter from charging him, she reviews all the spells she knows. Making the whip would work, but could backfire if it doesn't knock him out or if she misses. It would also stand out a lot.  People might see. She needs something more subtle, but she doesn't-

Or maybe she does know one. She lets out a small smile of relief at the fact that she now has a plan.

Looking back over to Peter, she gets his attention and mimics shaking the aisle. She needs him to make noise and be a small distraction. It's a risk, but anything is better than him running at the guy. Peter crushes his eyes closed in distaste so it seems he understood what she wanted, but didn't want to do it. To try and convince him, she makes a few orange sparks from her fingers. It's obvious how much he hates it, but he nods and begins shaking the aisle.

Peeking out from her corner, all attention is diverted away from her. None of the windows can see her position from the outside due to the blinds being closed and no one is looking at her. Delmar had crouched down to hide now that he wasn't the focus. The gunman shouts over in Peter's direction and starts walking over there. Another shot rings out. Trying to keep as much of herself obscured as she can while still maintaining vision, she begins to cast the spell required.

(“ _I'm working my way up to conjuring tea,” Michelle says while grinning at Peter. “Right now I'm learning how to turn things into butterflies.”)_

A handgun is a bit on the larger end of what she practiced for, but it should work. A small orange glyph of light appears in the air before her and she moves her hands to manipulate it as quickly as possible.   _Start with the outside frame and move inwards._ Now full of the required symbols and shapes, she releases the spell and the glyph vanishes.

A single, solid black butterfly emerges from the man's hand. Shocked, the man opens his hand to see what happened and it flies up to the roof where it escapes through an air vent. Sensing the man's distraction, Peter quickly gets up and knocks him out with a solid punch after tapping into a bit of super strength.

Suddenly it felt like she could breathe again. After a moment of silence, Delmar crawled out from behind the register and looked on in shock with a hand over his heart. “You kids are going to give me a heart attack,” he gasps out in shock.

Peter meanwhile looked over the two downed men and after making sure it was clear, took long and quick strides over to Michelle before pulling her close into a hug.

“I can't believe you did that,” he breathes out.

Honestly, she can't either. “I had to keep you from doing something stupid.”

“I have the most badass girlfriend in the entire world,” Peter whispers in her ear. “No one else compares.” He's equal parts extremely proud of her and terrified about how bad this could have gone.

Michelle thinks she's feeling pretty similarly, but it just hasn't quite set in yet. “If this is going to happen every time we go out, I'm breaking up with you.”

“Yeah, that's fair.”

While she hadn't been thinking much about the repercussions at the time, everything worked out mostly for the best. The security cameras in the shop were only pointed at the door and at the register so nothing was captured of when the two men were knocked out. Because the second man had wandered away from the register, nothing was captured of his gun vanishing and Delmar was lying on the ground where he couldn't see anything.

Having to stick around for the police report was a hassle, but since there was video footage of the two men coming in at the same time that Peter and Michelle were trying to leave, the police knew they weren't at fault and left them after taking a statement.

The police are left baffled when they never find the second gun.

 

 

 

 

Peter insisted on escorting her home. Part of her wanted to tease him that she would be fine and that technically she should be escorting _him_ home based on what just happened, but maybe this isn't quite the right time for that.

“So, I had fun tonight.” Michelle offers.  Honestly, she really did.

Peter looks at her disbelievingly, “I practically ruined our date and then we got caught in the middle of a robbery.  I’m pretty sure this might be the worst date I’ll ever have in my life.”

Smirking, Michelle decides to be a little bold, “Well then, I guess you’ll just have to plan ahead a little better for our next one”.  The effect is instant and catches Peter in his tracks. He almost trips over himself in surprise.

“You, you’re not kidding.  Right?” Maybe Michelle had misread the situation.  Peter seems to legitimately believe that their relationship was ruined by this date despite the fact that she actually enjoyed it after they managed to start talking.

“This is no joke, dork.  Turns out you’re stuck with me now.”

The statement is simple, but does its job.  Peter seems to snap out of his funk and takes a thoughtful look.  “Well, I can certainly think of worse fates than that.”

And with that timing, they arrive at Michelle’s home.  She stops before heading inside because there’s one more thing on her mind that she wants to say.  It’s pretty important and it’s going to require her to step a little out of her comfort zone, but it needs to be said.  She looks over to Peter and takes each of his hands in hers.

“Sometimes when I see you go out and do the things you do, I get a little worried.  You very rarely actually get hurt though because you’re good at what you do, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying, you know?”  At Peter’s understanding nod, she continues, “Back at Delmar’s, you looked really scared for me. I get that because I feel that way about you sometimes.  It would be really hypocritical of me to tell you to not worry about me like that when I can’t do the same.”

Michelle takes a deep breath.  She thinks she might be starting to ramble so she tries to get back to her point, “What I’m trying to say is that I want this to work.  Us. But it’s probably going to be scary.”

She sees Peter close his eyes and give a slow nod.  He speaks softly, but rapidly rises in confidence, “Yeah.  Yeah. I want that too. I can deal with scary”. The admission from Peter seems to brighten his mood.  “Does this mean I can call you my girlfriend?”

“You already did.  Back at Delmar’s.” Peter’s confused face is adorable.  He really must not have realized what he was saying.

With his hands still in her own, Michelle closes her eyes, leans forward, and shares a single, gentle kiss with him.

_Yes.  This is worth fighting for._

When she opens her eyes, she feels satisfyingly smug about the dazed look on Peter’s face.  He shakes himself back to reality and shyly asks, “Can I kiss you again?”

What was she going to say?  No?

 

 

 

 

Later, Michelle spends the rest of her night lying in bed and reflecting on the day's events. Her date went well (sort of) and she thinks she better understands why she wants to learn the Mystic Arts.

_I don't want to save the world, but I think I want to protect my friends. Maybe I can have a little fun along the way._

Now she just needs to get good enough to save her idiotic boyfriend from himself. With a small smile, the girl closes her eyes and mutters to herself, “You had better be worth all this trouble, Peter Parker.”

_I still need to figure out that refilling cup of tea._

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, this series is totally happening. Writing is fun apparently! Who knew. Thank you all very much for the kind comments on the previous story and encouraging me to continue. This is my exploration of learning to write a little romance and a brief action scene near the end. Overall, I'm much happier with this one than the first part.
> 
> As for the future of this series, so far my plans are for a part 3 and then we start getting into Infinity War for part 4. I am likely going to wait until Endgame comes out before doing part 4 because I may want to play around with that depending on what happens in the movie and I would need to adjust what happens in Infinity War to make it work. Again, who knows at this point.


End file.
